Tuesday, 23 August 2011

A Summary Of My Life So Far

It's 3am and I'm sitting here having a long hard think about my life and where it's headed. These past few days have been five of the worst for me. I went from hope that I'd get into at least my Insurance Uni to despair to see that I couldn't even manage that. Then, a light at the end of the tunnel, an offer from the Uni I originally wanted to go to for a course I actually wanted to do and now, a rethink.

I have to wonder how my life got here, from being one of the brightest at school to becoming a serial underachiever. My whole life I've been tipped to be someone who would be getting the A Grades and I've just watched my life roll past me, always finding something better (or should that be worse?) to do with my time than sit and try to achieve my potential through hard work. I've sat and watched the best years of my life roll on past me, whilst I'm still sat at the station, always saying that I'll get the next train. It'll be fine. I've sat and watched my future crumble into dust, heard the diggers roll in to take the rubble of my pathetic procrastinations away. And every single time I've said "I'll do better next time", but there comes a time when there is no next time, where the chance to put things right has flown, whilst you're still waiting in the departure lounge.

And now, in the driving seat of my life, I've come to a fork in the road and honestly, I've lost my sat nav, there's no signs for me here, nothing to show me where to go or what to do, no-one around to ask directions from. I'm truly on my own, I've fallen over and cut my leg and the blood is dripping onto my jeans. I've crossed the road without looking and been hit by a truck. I've become the one thing I'd never thought I'd be. A failure.